I’m a female, I know, and other women discuss this pressing issue. The emancipation of women from kitchens and skirts has led to a culture of dominant, alpha women and lazy, unaggressive men. Now, here it is necessary I lay out the proper definition of “aggressive.” Aggressive is not begging, aggressive is not calling all of the time. Aggressive is the man with options, and nothing is sexier to a woman than a man with options. Options do not have to be in the form of other women, though seeing a man with a woman immediately does make him “dateable.” Options simply mean that a man has other things in his life that enjoys and wakes up for each morning other than women, or the hope of women. No one woman wants to be your beacon of existence. We want to share the positive life you are already living with you, so please bring this positivity to the dinner table.

In order to channel the exact nature of this aggressive, men must first remember their evolutionary status in society. Men are providers, breadwinners, dictators and lords. Women are pre-programmed by nature to seek out alpha males: simply look at any other species, from lions to lemurs. If you believe that nothing is completely certain, statistics and science are here to assure you: just as women are pre-programmed by evolution to desire children (and how much of a truism do you consider that to be? Nearly fact right?) women are pre-programmed to desire the best provider and protector for her and her children. This is the alpha male. This is the man in society with options. This is the man who is not looking for a date but always seems to have one. This is you if you simply embrace your own self and never deny what you want; never stifle your voice.

Ask yourself, “what am I afraid of in terms of women? Rejection? As I learn not to fear her rejection, she will not reject me.” Learn that. Commit it to memory, because fearing rejection is a vicious cycle where rejection will chase you.

As soon as you stop caring about rejection (learning that it is indeed nothing) you will see it disappear from your interactions. Never ask a woman for anything, especially if you are first courting. It makes you come off needy. If she does something that upsets you, I implore you to not kiss her ass or stifle yourself, but tell her. Tell her aggressively, and resolve the issue warmly. Make her feel things.

And at the risk of sounding a little cold I share with you the secret to having a woman want to be with you, physically and romantically: she must fear your loss.

This is certainly not to say that you should threaten to leave her daily or even once (you surely shouldn’t), but she should be aware that you are a man with options. You do not sacrifice the important things you want and your positive life for someone who does not fulfill you as they should. You must have the aura of a man who is fully convinced of this, until you actually become this man, and you will with time. As soon as someone considers her life without you in it, your status in her life has grown much more important. You will become respected. A woman can only love a man after she respects him.

I am not suggesting you play some sort of game or pretend to be something you’re not. I merely suggest you remember what it’s like to be a man, to beat your chest, to desire physicality: none of what you want is wrong. It is imperative that you find the alpha man within you!

Here is a more concrete example:

I was out to dinner with an older, established professional, who did nothing but ask me questions over too soft penne — “What do you do for work?” “Do you enjoy it?” “Tell me about your family.”

This sort of talk is boring and uninteresting! I am not flattered that you’re demonstrating interest, instead you are just showing me that you have nothing interesting of your own to say. Tell me about something you read in a newspaper and what you think of it. Say you think it’s bullshit if you do.

Here is a great chance to show me your alpha: if you think something I say on our first date is bullshit then call me out on it! (Say, I blink twice and say “I love volunteer work.” You feel in your gut I’m lying, so be vocal and tell me! Say, “bullshit! You’re bullshitting me!”) You will have affected me, and it is better to affect me by making me blush then to let me know you’re super-interested in my desk job.

Let’s push our first date example further: don’t try to spend the night with me after. Women, like everyone else, like to earn what we lay. Now pay careful attention here, I said don’t try on the first date. What you should do is display your aggressive sexual nature in a nonthreatening way. We are standing at my doorway and I am about to go inside: make me think twice about it without forcing or begging me to! Give me a deep, passionate kiss, or maybe squeeze my backside. Then, and here is the key, walk away.

You must communicate to me that you can and will dominate my body, but that you do not NEED to. This is what turns women on. And here is something fancy about 21st century women that will help you get us in bed: we want to be in bed! We like sex! We even like sex on the first date. So, here we are at my door and you’ve gotten me a little aroused then said goodnight, you’ve turned around… Some women would let you go, and I’m not going to lie and convince you of otherwise, but what I’m being bold enough to say is that some women would say “hey, turn around and come inside.” If you’ve conveyed this positive attitude we’re learning about, then she just may stop you from getting away too quickly. If she doesn’t, then your positive attitude combined with you NOT begging or lurking for sex will still be extremely beneficial towards a second date. And if you tease then pull away on this second date, you will become irresistible.

As a forward thinking, sexual 21st century woman, I am sending a message to all of the men who just don’t know where they stand, or how to stand! My experiences talking with women from all over the world reveal that I am not alone! We can be active, aggressive chasers, eager to give a man what he wants, as long as he is not ashamed of it.

Need more tips on becoming an alpha male and dating? I highly suggest these EXCELLENT no obligation eBooks.

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